Cats Everywhere!

Cats, cats, cats!  I originally thought there were about fifty here in Elinore’s house, but I’m starting to think I was seriously mistaken. There must be a hundred! Honestly I don’t know how she feeds them.

They come and go through a little door she had made for them, so there are invariably as many outside as in at any given time. I declare I am overwhelmed with cat hair in my bed, on my clothes, and God forbid, IN MY TEA!!!

Alas, I have nowhere else to go right now, having very little money, and Elinore is truly sweet for taking me in. But this is starting to pluck my nerves. I shall think of a way to divert some of the cats to another location if possible. Elinore can’t possibly miss ten or so among so many.

In any event, my first novel, Second Chance is now available for purchase, and I’m extremely excited about that. I shall hope that sales of this tome far exceed my expectations and then I may be able to buy a home for myself.

And I will not have any cats!

Very sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner

Another Day in the Colonies

Good morning dear friends!

Another day in the Colonies for me. I still have no idea how I came to be transported here. But I do believe it is my calling to produce some lively Regency romances that will not put one to the blush.

So, my dear friend Elinore has offered to type up my stories and then do something with the computer? so that they can be published on what she calls The Web. I don’t really understand all this, but she assures me it is quite simple and she is happy to help.

I began my writing in a notebook and when I finish a page, Elinore types it up. The cats are quite inquisitive and I constantly have to sweep one off my lap or the table. The little dears seem to have no manners what-so-ever, but Elinore is so attached to them that I can’t help being endeared.

My first book shall be called, Second Chance. A lively tale with two feisty heroines, a charming vicomte, and of course a handsome duke. Elinore says she can “upload” it right away and people can begin buying it immediately. How simply amazing! These modern times really leave my head in a whirl!

I do so hope that the novel will sell well, for I am in serious need of a new frock. I daresay I shall have to sew it myself for the clothes people wear these days are simply appalling. Fortunately, I am an accomplished seamstress and dress designer and shall be able to whip up something lovely as long as I can purchase some material and trim.

So dear readers, please go to this Web place and spend some of your money on my book. I sincerely appreciate your patronage and shall endeavor to produce more enthralling tales for you. And do keep in mind that I need that new frock!

Yours most sincerely,  Lady Jane Garner

A Home is found!

Well, gentle reader, my situation does not seem as bleak as I first supposed. I met a lovely lady named, Elinore, yesterday who has invited me to live with her. I was quite surprised that she believed my sad tale of transportation for I truly understand how bizarre it sounds.

However, she graciously took me in and although her house is a bit run down, it is a lovely two-story Victorian design with a shady porch and sits off the main road on a little dirt trail. I was pleasantly surprised at the spacious woods surrounding this structure and envision many pleasurable days strolling under the lofty oaks.

 I do have some concern over all the cats, however. There must be at least fifty, although it’s difficult to count the little devils. I shall not complain though, for I am quite desperate for  a place to live.

At least Elinore is a tea lover as well and immediately offered me a cup once I was settled into the second floor guest bedroom. It wasn’t Earl Grey sadly, but passable, I believe it’s called Lord Lipton or some such name.

 I shall settle in and let you know more tomorrow about my interesting new habitation.

Most Sincerely,  Lady Jane Garner

Dear me! Transported!

Greetings dear readers!

It is I, Lady Jane Garner, most recently from London. Somehow I was transported through time and have ended up somewhere in the Colonies in the future. The last thing I remember, I was reading Pride and Prejudice and napped off. When I came to, you can only imagine my surprise. 

After running through the rest of Jane Austin’s esteemed works, I found a modern woman named Georgette Heyer had written some lovely novels of my time. Alas, after that, I wasn’t pleased with any other works as they put me quite to the blush! 

Therefore it is my endeavor to produce some sweet tales of the Regency period the way it should be portrayed, full of balls, and muslin gowns and handsome dukes waiting for a heroine to tame them. Of course I’m a bit shamed at being reduced to such drudgery, but I do enjoy writing and the world needs more Regency romances. Of course I’ll be needing some money, too, in this strange place, as I’m told by the darling inhabitants here that I will have to have a computer? to survive and something called “Starbucks.” 

So, sit back with one of my novels, pour yourself a cup of tea, and prepare to be transported back in time.  Most sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner