Sunday, July 10, 2011

I Love My Readers!!

My darling readers,
Words are not enough to say how much I love you and appreciate that you are reading and liking my stories. When one is uprooted from their normal exitstence and transported to a new world, it is very comforting to receive such a warm welcome.

With the help of my dear friend Elinore, I have been able to pursue a writing career and make some money to support myself. (Not to mention buy cat toys for Puff) I feel very fortunate to have landed in this lucky situation.

Of course my books are tales written to entertain, and that is my dearest hope. If there is a story you would like to see, just let me know and I'll try to write it. I'm not a professional writer, per se, but I do feel I can tell a lively story.

So, thank  you again from the bottom of my heart for your continued support. I will try to produce novels which will continue to amuse you and give you a respite from reality.

Most sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner

Friday, June 24, 2011


Oh my goodness, dear readers. Sales of Second Chance are going through the roof. I'm quite beside my self with joy. It's thrilling to learn that people want to read your stories. Emerald Domino is off to a good start as well this week.

I'm so delighted that I may soon have enough money for a ball gown. I assure you, muslin is fine in its place, but nothing can compare to velvet, silk and satin. Not to mention a spangled underskirt.....

Elinore doesn't understand the need for more gowns and has suggested we spend some money fixing the leaky roof. Well, I daresay not being dripped on in the middle of the night might be prodigiously pleasant, I do feel that one should have priorities after all. And my priorities lie strongly in the being well dressed department.

Puff is of course voting for more catnip toys, and God only know what the other cats are wanting. *sigh* Somehow I shall try to find a way to please everyone. Perhaps I shall sell enough books to provide for everyone's needs. That would be ideal.

Ah well, off to have tea with Elinor. I'm sure she will badger me about the roof. Lud!

Most sincerely yours,  Lady Jane Garner

Monday, June 20, 2011


Well, my darling readers,
Elinor tells me someone put up a bad review of Second Chance on Amazon. How extremely hurtful. Puff is hiding under the bed, he is so upset.

Clearly this person is unaware of how difficult it is to write with 50 cats crawling all over you, not to mention that my typist/editor is Elinor who we love, but admit freely is off her rocker.

So dear reader, please excuse a few typos here and there, as with raw silk they only add to the character and authenticity of the work. When I'm rich and famous, I'll be able to afford a proper editor, but in the meantime, if you desire a better edited work, you might try spending more than 99 cents.

Of course one must take into account that the poor reviewer receives mostly one star reviews herself and is so desperate for fame, she posted her own biography on Wikipedia. Dear Lord, I'm laughing myself silly.

My tales are for your enjoyment, dear readers,  not a stuffy geneology or history lesson. We hear enough boring stories in our lives, it's much better to spend time thinking of ball gowns, kid gloves, spangled underskirts and silk stockings. Don't you think?
Most sincerely yours,  Lady Jane Garner

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The New Novella is ready1

Huzzah! Dear readers,
My novella, The Emerald Domino is finally finished. I'm so excited, and Puff is squirming in his own little kitty excitement as well.

Dear Elinore has just uploaded it to the places on the Internet thingy where you can purchase it. So go forth, my darling readers and purchase, for I am desperately in need of a new bonnet!

Here's what the book is about:

             Lady Sophia Efffingham runs away to London rather than be forced into marriage with her weak-chinned cousin Theo. Until she turns eighteen, she’s under the thumb of her greedy aunt and uncle and can’t claim her fortune and the right to control her destiny. Without resources, she’s forced to masquerade as a maid to the handsome Earl of Bekam until her birthday.

            Sophy doesn’t expect to fall in love at first sight with the earl, and she didn’t plan on the risky masquerade she falls into. But she’s determined to save the earl from marrying a society beauty out to snare the earl only for his money. Disguised as the Emerald Domino, she risks everything to sneak into masquerade balls and warn the earl.

            The earl becomes intrigued with this mystery lady and begins to search for her. But Sophy’s relatives find her first and kidnap her, returning to their secluded home in Gloucester. The only person who can save her is the earl. But will he discover her identity and location in time?

Doesn't that sound exciting???? I hope you like it!
Very truly yours, Lady Jane Garner

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


My dear readers,
I'm making progress on my new novel. I've decided I shall call it, The Emerald Domino. But my lips are sealed as to the plot at this time. I want it to be an exciting surprise!

Dear Puff is such a comfort. He keeps the other kitties away so I can write uninterrupted and sleeps with me at comforting!

Now that my royalties are coming in I have bought some lovely muslin and am making a new frock. It was a close call between muslin and caramel machiattos, but the muslin won. A girl must look good. I can only hope my next check can provide for both fashion AND taste.

That's all for today, my darlings. Keep reading and stay tuned.

Most sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


La, dear readers! I must tell you of a most unsettling experience. My dear friend, Elinor, decided we should go into town yesterday. She feels I should learn more about these modern times andhow to get along.

I left sweet Puff playing with a ball of crumpled up paper and headed out. Elinore drives what she calls a "car" and I must say, riding along in it quite takes my breath away. Although she assures me we are going slow, I was never in a horse and carraige that went so fast.

When we entered the town, more cars whizzed by us, making me squeeze my eyes shut and grip the door handle. My stomach had turned a bit queasy, but by the time we stopped, I felt better.

She took me to a place called, Starbucks, which I had heard of at the time of my initial appearance here in Suffolk. The place seems to have taken on legendary proportions in people's minds, but in effect it is a small establishment though well decorated and with a pleasing aroma of chocolate and coffee beans.

Elinore said she would order for me, and I recieved what is called a caramel macchiata. And dear reader, never has such creamy deliciousness crossed my lips, even the time the Duchess of Devonshire served Chantilly cream souffles at her summer rout.

I believe I am fair addicted to the thing now. As soon as we left, I immediately wanted another one! However Elinor says we must limit our intake as they cost a near fortune.

Just another reason to push on with my novel writing. I need more money for caramel macchiatas! I am hurrying along with my second novel called, Masquerade. It's a fun little romp about an heiress who hides as a maid to escape her evil relatives.

So back to writing, Puff has kept my seat warm so I shall settle down and get to work. The lure of caramel macchiatas leads me on!
Very truly yours, Lady Jane Garner

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Seeing the Forest despite the Trees

Good morning, lovely readers!
I took a long walk in the woods today--they grow quite thick around Elinore's house. Fortunately there are a multitude of pine trees so the ground is covered with needles, making a nice walking surface.

One of the cats came along for the walk, which surprised me a great deal. It's a lovely gray Persian with ice blue eyes. This cat has a fancy for me I believe. I noticed it stays around me fairly consistently and actually crawled in bed with me last night.

Never having been one to sleep with animals (of four OR two feet) I was a bit unnerved at first, but then the warmth and contentment of having it curled up at my feet became apparent and I nodded off.

Such an occurance made me feel a bit guilty for my tirade yesterday. Although the number of cats is quite overwhelming, I must admit, now and then they do provide a bit of company and comfort.

So I shall look past the individual issues and focus on my fortunate position of having a place to live and a kind lady who believes my rather strange tale of transportation. I shall just have to learn to deal with the cats.

I'm naming my little gray friend, Puff, for Elinore neglects to name her cats, and this one certainly deserves a name. I''m going to sew a little collar for her, and I may put a bow in her hair. Yes, that would be nice...a bow.

In any event, my writing is going well. I plan to start on another story soon, now that Second Chance is sucessfully placed for sale. But for now it's time for tea.
Yours, very sincerely,  Lady Jane Garner

Friday, April 8, 2011

Cats Everywhere!

Cats, cats, cats!  I originally thought there were about fifty here in Elinore’s house, but I’m starting to think I was seriously mistaken. There must be a hundred! Honestly I don’t know how she feeds them.

They come and go through a little door she had made for them, so there are invariably as many outside as in at any given time. I declare I am overwhelmed with cat hair in my bed, on my clothes, and God forbid, IN MY TEA!!!

Alas, I have nowhere else to go right now, having very little money, and Elinore is truly sweet for taking me in. But this is starting to pluck my nerves. I shall think of a way to divert some of the cats to another location if possible. Elinore can’t possibly miss ten or so among so many.

In any event, my first novel, Second Chance is now available for purchase, and I’m extremely excited about that. I shall hope that sales of this tome far exceed my expectations and then I may be able to buy a home for myself.

And I will not have any cats!

Very sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Another Day in the Colonies

Good morning dear friends!

Another day in the Colonies for me. I still have no idea how I came to be transported here. But I do believe it is my calling to produce some lively Regency romances that will not put one to the blush.

So, my dear friend Elinore has offered to type up my stories and then do something with the computer? so that they can be published on what she calls The Web. I don’t really understand all this, but she assures me it is quite simple and she is happy to help.

I began my writing in a notebook and when I finish a page, Elinore types it up. The cats are quite inquisitive and I constantly have to sweep one off my lap or the table. The little dears seem to have no manners what-so-ever, but Elinore is so attached to them that I can’t help being endeared.

My first book shall be called, Second Chance. A lively tale with two feisty heroines, a charming vicomte, and of course a handsome duke. Elinore says she can “upload” it right away and people can begin buying it immediately. How simply amazing! These modern times really leave my head in a whirl!

I do so hope that the novel will sell well, for I am in serious need of a new frock. I daresay I shall have to sew it myself for the clothes people wear these days are simply appalling. Fortunately, I am an accomplished seamstress and dress designer and shall be able to whip up something lovely as long as I can purchase some material and trim.

So dear readers, please go to this Web place and spend some of your money on my book. I sincerely appreciate your patronage and shall endeavor to produce more enthralling tales for you. And do keep in mind that I need that new frock!

Yours most sincerely,  Lady Jane Garner

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A Home is found!

Well, gentle reader, my situation does not seem as bleak as I first supposed. I met a lovely lady named, Elinore, yesterday who has invited me to live with her. I was quite surprised that she believed my sad tale of transportation for I truly understand how bizarre it sounds.

However, she graciously took me in and although her house is a bit run down, it is a lovely two-story Victorian design with a shady porch and sits off the main road on a little dirt trail. I was pleasantly surprised at the spacious woods surrounding this structure and envision many pleasurable days strolling under the lofty oaks.

 I do have some concern over all the cats, however. There must be at least fifty, although it’s difficult to count the little devils. I shall not complain though, for I am quite desperate for  a place to live.

At least Elinore is a tea lover as well and immediately offered me a cup once I was settled into the second floor guest bedroom. It wasn’t Earl Grey sadly, but passable, I believe it’s called Lord Lipton or some such name.

 I shall settle in and let you know more tomorrow about my interesting new habitation.

Most Sincerely,  Lady Jane Garner

Monday, April 4, 2011

Dear me! Transported!

Greetings dear readers!

It is I, Lady Jane Garner, most recently from London. Somehow I was transported through time and have ended up somewhere in the Colonies in the future. The last thing I remember, I was reading Pride and Prejudice and napped off. When I came to, you can only imagine my surprise. 

After running through the rest of Jane Austin’s esteemed works, I found a modern woman named Georgette Heyer had written some lovely novels of my time. Alas, after that, I wasn’t pleased with any other works as they put me quite to the blush! 

Therefore it is my endeavor to produce some sweet tales of the Regency period the way it should be portrayed, full of balls, and muslin gowns and handsome dukes waiting for a heroine to tame them. Of course I’m a bit shamed at being reduced to such drudgery, but I do enjoy writing and the world needs more Regency romances. Of course I’ll be needing some money, too, in this strange place, as I’m told by the darling inhabitants here that I will have to have a computer? to survive and something called “Starbucks.” 

So, sit back with one of my novels, pour yourself a cup of tea, and prepare to be transported back in time.  Most sincerely yours, Lady Jane Garner